It’s still raining

I don’t know how long it takes for something to be obvious. How many individual accounts of the same story? How frequently do we need to see the same symptoms? When do they, the people and institutions in power, connect the dots or follow the strings? More and more often, journalists and celebrities are publicly …

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Eight legged monster

I’m that person who typically ushers creepy crawlers and wayward fliers gently back outside. The major exceptions being wasps/hornets and some spiders. I keep a clean home and there isn’t much in the way of clutter. But, we all know how it is with bugs… they always find a way. One night recently, right before …

Logs on the fire

Four days ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. I’m still in shock. I had no symptoms or indicators. During my annual gynecological visit, they did a pap. It isn’t a requirement or even recommended to do a pap for every visit, but my doctor is diligent because of my chronic conditions and family history. A …

Sustain-able

Can any of us live “sustainably” with a chronic illness? I aspire to leaving a small carbon footprint. The IG-worthy images of reusable and minimalist lifestyles appeal to me. The idea of living light and making a more positive than negative impact on my surroundings… that all feels very right. Unfortunately, those desires tend to …

Invisible proof

What you didn’t know, was that you would spend the rest of your life trying to convince people that you are broken. Even as you wrestle with the daily mindfuck that is surviving with invisible conditions, people need you to prove your pain and symptoms. Your word isn’t enough. Descriptions of any detail will never …

Eddie would go

I had the blessing of a childhood tightly intertwined with nature. Instead of days spent with a television babysitter or smartphone appendage, I was nearly always outdoors. Rain, shine, or storm I was outside with only my imagination, friends, and ingenuity.  The reason I’m highlighting my relationship with growing up in a nature-filled life, is …

I’m just a girl – Diagnosing part 5 (Small Fiber Autonomic Neuropathy)

Numbness on the outside of my right leg. That was the starting point for my entire Small Fiber Autonomic Neuropathy journey. It’s a long one. Hold onto your hats and cozy up with a cup of tea. Here we go: I had recently come back to the United States after working overseas for a few …

Welcome to the bumpiest road

I’m not one of the lifers. My chronic conditions took over less than a decade ago. While I had experienced some symptoms earlier, my overwhelming and life-altering issues only developed in my late twenties. Of course, any amount of time with severe pain and symptoms feels like an eternity. Looking back to days of physical …

It’s only your life in their hands

I get one of my medications from another country. After years of trying every possible combination of drugs to ease my stomach symptoms and increase my appetite, my gastroenterologist told me about one of the most effective medications for my condition. However, it was/is banned in the United States.  Desperate and willing to incur the …

Is it a secret?

I’ve written about the weight of sharing one’s chronic medical conditions for people in the public eye. I’ve also touched on explaining illness in all types of relationships. How does that look? What is your responsibility to share the issues and symptoms that you face? How much and how loud do you go? Who do you …